It's a tough gig, being a woman. It's a tough gig from the beginning. It's a tough gig, but it's a great gift too. The stats are still a little rough, like rocky road chocolate, rough but full of many sweet victories and more to come too.
I recall a childhood teacher from way back in Primary School. She wasn't my favourite when teachers were being handed out. It's like the saying;
"You never know which one you're gonna get.."
This teacher wasn't really even in the box of chocolates. Her calling was probably for a different kind of collection, say a crew of prison wardens or boot camp instructors. On one particular occasion this teacher decided for the misdemeanour of one rather vexatious little boy, the entire class should miss lunchtime so that he would be shamed into good behaviour from there on. The misdemeanour itself had involved, for the third week running, spoiling Friday morning Karaoke sessions to a much beloved collection of varied tunes played on cassette tape along to a book titled,"Let's Sing." A class set provided a book for each child and was illustrated with zany, bright, bubbly, cartoons below dancing notes teetering on balance, across, what always looked to me like, rows of tight rope wires. I loved those Friday mornings very much. There was a little boy who often sat behind a little girl. His greatest joke was to unfix the little girls plaited updo and use the freed braids as reigns in a rather rambunctious version of, "Here Comes Brumby Jack." He had been warned and on that fateful day, strike three, ding ding ding, trouble began to bubble. It was decided by my not very favourite teacher, we should all stay in, even the little girl who had temporarily been used as a horses bridle. I recall at the time, the injustice of it all. I recall later on, three weeks forward, when the same boy called a little girl with plaits a nasty name, many children had paid the price for one cheeky boy to little effect. But that little boy also had many little friends who were boys and they were very noisy boys.
I always wondered why it was that back then, boys took up more time, but not all boys though. Now I understand. There were some quieter boys too but there was definitely more time spent on little boys in trouble than what seemed fair to the girls and introverted boys. Of course exceptions to the rule applied too. That's not to say I didn't love boys. I loved boys and I loved girls and I didn't actually have need for ideas around "boys germs" as was floated from time to time as a concept.
It all starts at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When an adult holds a child or a baby, they pick it up without perhaps knowing at all that the interaction has already become gender specific. The voice may be louder and more rough and tumble might creep in for a little boy and for a little girl a softer calmer, more gentle way is more likely the spirit of play and it goes on from there. The truth is gender socialisation creeps in real quick and creates impact on the way we think about boys and girls, men and women. Science comes in too by, for example, way of hormones, but let's not forget that we are also, I believe, dictated to be societal beliefs, values, attitudes and examples that may perpetuate certain stereotypes. But there's a shifting dynamic too. And that dynamic is not that girls can be boys or women can be men, It's that we are all different, that gentleness is universal, that strength in body, mind and soul is also universal. There's still work to be done though.
History has highlighted the wonder of some pretty awesomely, great women. A personal favourite of mine is Jane Austen, not only because I'm a true romantic and she did write about love and her feminine mystique was sometimes whimsical and sweet but she was also a real tough tiger too. I have to say, from the bank of history my inner girl crush begins to blush at the thought of this brave, bold romantic, challenging, complex woman. Her books were of the time, centred on marriage yes, but there's more. There's so much more. In deep, there's a lot more, even to the extent of her work, her fiction, creating a new reality, inadvertently, for property ownership where woman were concerned. What she and Charlotte Bronte wrote of, was a time in which women were repressed beneath a legal model that called for them to relinquish financial ownership, for them to be dependant and for them to live a submissive point of view. And yet many of the characters were, even so, feisty, grounded, confident, witty, wily, wonderfully biting yet romantic and deep thinkers, full of grit and soul and gentleness. In creating characters such as Elizabeth Bennet who found Mr Darcy to be an arrogant pompous prick at times who would not have her made inferior, Austen was changing the consciousness around women's rights.
Austen is one of many great women who helped forge a path forwards for not only women but men too, for it is in equality that we all can find something to gain. Skipping on to now and after, or cartwheeling or running or walking or strolling or wheeling or dancing or whatever way you may choose to trek forwards with, such great strides are being made and will continue to be made to create a place in which we can enjoy a united peaceful, energetic, worthy feeling of equality. In politics, in the corporate sector, in some developing countries in particular, we've got more work to do. Fairs fair in love, in life.
One of the great dead ideas is that woman are too emotionally driven. I hope no-one ever needs to say again "you're too emotional" or " don't get too caught up in your feelings." To all people I would say...FEEL, express, be heard, imagine, LOVE.
Audre Lorde refused to see freedom for herself before freedom was found for all women.;
"I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own." I'd like to invite men in on that one too. The world is full of great people. Let's fight for freedom, love and togetherness.
You might as well have been
