Saturday, August 18, 2018

Butterfly Eyes

Butterfly Eyes 
(7 years)

I have two little butterflies
On my face
One is my left eye
The other is my other eye
Flutter and fly
My little butterflies
Like the movies
Flickering.
Like when I went
To see ET
And I cried.
And the butteflies
Were the quickest
Then.

Butterfly Eyes 
(17 years)

I have two of them
Butterflies
On my face
One is my left eye
The other is my right eye
Stay still butterfly
Stay awake little butterflies
If you blinkity blink
Who will lose?
In a staring contest?
Win?
Lose?
I don’t want to win
I don’t want to lose.
I just think the oceans
In our eyes
And it’s an excuse to chase
Butterflies again
In a more grown up way.
Flicker open
Stay awake.
Curled the lashes
Like Waves up and round
Like a beach holiday.
Like wings with a movie
Inside.
I don’t want to win
I don’t want to lose
I just want to love
you.

Butterfly (Aged 45)

I have two of them
Butterflies
On my face
One is my left eye
The other is my right eye
Stay flickering in flight
Little butterflies
When you wander
Now you see so much more
So much deeper
So much hidden
So much beauty
So much change
So much detail.
Stay brave little butterflies
Don’t look away
No need to stray
From what must be said
What matters most.
Stay gentle little butterflies
In feelings
Or focused hard on love.
Flicker open 
Stay awake.
Curled the lashes 
Like Waves up and round 
Like a beach holiday. 
Like wings with a movie 
Inside. 
I don’t want to win
I don’t want to lose
I just want to love 
You. 
One eye, two or blind
We see together anyway
All of us
Little butterflies
Gentle on the winds
Of love.



Friday, August 17, 2018

Take a Breath…

Last week, I took a deep breath, bundled a mess of grief (following the loss of a loved one) into the small parameters of a heart (always impossible to do) and accepted a movie invitation to see Breath. I love the ocean. I love its wild heart, the gentle or biting dance -depending on her mood, the layered spliced up expanse of colour. I love it’s curling coo and call to slide one’s eyes over salty arches and heady frothed up fun. I had wanted to see “Breath.” I love Tim Winton’s way with words. I love descriptive tangled together and woven words and he’s good at that. He’s worthy of labels such as “success” and “artistry” though I’m not interested in such concepts around art usually. All of us are artists in life. All of us capable of success. I hadn’t though, in this case, read his book “Breath”.
Sitting in a cinema, we breath the story together. A shame then, less people these days are venturing forth from the comfort of Netflix on the couch to the lungs of storytelling, to the place where sharing a yarn, is strangely possible between the space of a picture show wall and an audience of expectant eyes. The screen is flat (well in this case, no 3d glasses required) but the story is fuller, rounder, closer and stratified by something intangible that immediately drew me in, to begin with at least. To be honest I fell in and out of this film like the tide, like a breath of willing life one minute and suffocating crankiness the other.
There was actually something beautiful about the film. The inversion of what is seen above and below is both apparent in the sublime cinematography and in the subtlety of the acting, the unsaid words, the uncluttered script, the stillness and gentle pace. I was emotionally entangled in the beauty of the ocean scape. It was so masterfully crafted, especially the bubbling underwater scenes juxtaposed with the wild rollercoaster ride of a thrilling ocean, daring us to take our breath away altogether. The scenery, the palate of this movie, not muted but natural and real and organic, avoided a sickly sweet pathos of twee messages and political correctness but it nevertheless did need some more truth. There was something of a quentisential Australia there too. Having enjoyed year after year of family holidays to a beachside country town, there was nostalgia for me in this film. It’s a pity then there was never a girl in site on the beach, not even swimming and certainly not surfing. I ached for that character to appear. She didn’t even need to be good at surfing. She needed to be out in those ocean scenes somehow though. She wasn’t.
The two young men in this movie show a most commendable talent. We are compelled somehow towards loving both of them despite some of their mistakes but we are also compelled to wish for more in our young men too via what is left over at the end of the film.  The outcomes of their lives and the influences that both propelled their learning to a deeper awareness or suffocated their growth as human beings does not completely solve issues around equality, because we are simply not quite there just yet.
It is a movie about “manhood” but not “womanhood” yet it does have something to say about women nevertheless. Some of it is a subversion of divisional stereotypes and some of it simply serves further to reinforce them. For me, it is a problematic movie for that reason.
Young Queenie Cookson is clearly a character we are not supposed to like. I was disappointed in this part of the story. We are supposed to find her, a young woman, less interesting, flat, a little flaky, plain and emotionally indulgent. This is contrasted with the elegant, older, mysterious and deeply troubled, Eva disabled by an accident that cuts short her career as a professional ski jumper. The portrayal of Queenie is handled very well but the character and script here found me immediately dissociate from the film. Coupling a young woman’s request for equal attention, steady loyalty and gentle building teenage love with ideas around the ordinary and annoying is not the greatest message to be pushing, especially where young women are concerned. Young Pikelet (Samson Coulter) rejects Queenie in favour of his pull towards Eva who turns out to be a paedophilic seductress who is possibly impregnated by Pikelet or Simon Baker’s character Sando. We never really know at the movie’s conclusion who might be the father. Ratings have certainly softened these days. in some cases, this is actually not such a bad thing in other cases it is. Censorship can harbour some darkness in its own right. With this particular film, the seriousness and complexity of the sexual content is clearly not attended to that much. I found it difficult to marry together the humorous device of Pikelet’s furious bike riding to “get laid” over and over again with scenes around him being asked to engage Eva in asphyxiation with a hot pink plastic bag during their sexual encounters. For me hot pink is a vibrant colour, a choice, a matter of standing out, of mattering, of maturity of woman hood, of love of brightness and promise. I also took exception to this character’s presence on the screen. We also didn’t really like Eva that much. We see Pikelet in his more naturally gentle response to life the victim of paedophilia. He is visibly confused and disturbed by the manipulation. Again, there is no sign of a female character that we can hold value in. It’s not so much that Eva is there I suppose that there’s no other women we like at all for the duration of the movie. It’s also yet another movie that puts a pity party around notions of disability, for me I’m bored my such a motif in today’s more progressed world. Granted she is a woman who is attracted to fear in the first place, she does not shy away from a challenge but at the end of the day we are left with something a bit flimsy in this character. Some of it is not her fault. Sando expects “space” the ol’ sterotype that has women presented as the perpetraitors of a henpecked hubby and in subverting her right to need more she seeks thrills in young boys. In other words, Winton’s not actually representing a one dimensional character in Eva. He’s not at all suggesting that it’s her fault. The fault is in fact being laid down with the history of a past misogynistic Australian landscape. It’s got some meat to it, this story, this movie. It’s also got some flaws. Such is life.

I was taken away on a boating holiday with the music, not one of those holidays where the tacky trappings of having to look a certain way mean everything, a holiday for the ears, for the heart, for the soul, for everything invisible that matters so very much. It’s not too much about selling the bathing beauties of this world at the cardboard checkout points but about the human heart.  And isn’t it true that this film deals in being able to say NO. Being able to say, this is not for me. I am not looking for fear. I am not defined by the status quo. I don’t have to be wild or reckless or brave to make a difference. It is a movie about the importance of gentleness in boys that forgets a little bit about girls, but nevertheless does make a difference in its own way by opening the path up for something of a new way for everyone. 

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Auden Revisited

Rub out the rainbows
Pack away every cloud
Til’ blue meets black
Sound the weeping cellos
In the ache of never more
Call for the trumpets
To blow out
Our forever.
Dress every ocean
In heaving hearts.
Close the rosebuds
Tight and
Roll up the music
With a gold ribbon.
He was our North
South, East and West.
Our breakfast
Our Feast
Our song.
Oh that he would last
Forever
We did long.
lady bird -
Fly away now.
Lucky we are not
In loss.
Block out the sun
Farewell the moon
A sailing by
Still the dancing wood
Silence the wind 
For none of this will ever

Come to any good.